FIRST CORINTHIANS
Chapter 7:1-24
Introduction
Marriage, divorce, and remarriage are subjects that immediately capture your undivided attention when they are discussed in church. Marriage, divorce, and remarriage is where you live, so to speak. Whether you are unmarried or currently married; whether you are divorced or contemplating divorce; whether you have remarried after a divorce; you probably are still working out the spiritual implications of your feelings and actions.
If you take these subjects seriously you have probably worn out the pages in your Bible that contain First Corinthians chapter seven. The apostle Paul speaks to believers who are married to believers, to believers who are married to unbelievers, and to believers who are unmarried. He discusses marriage and divorce and when it is proper to remarry. In verses ten and twelve he lets you know that these are God’s "command[s]."
Before you look at the individual commands in these verses, you need to see the overall context of this chapter. Yes, it is about marriage, divorce, and remarriage. But it is about something else as well. It is about ministry. It is about your ministry for the Lord and how marriage either affects or is affected by your ministry.
Look at two verses we didn’t read this morning, verses thirty-two and thirty-three:
1 Corinthians 7:32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord - how he may please the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world -how he may please his wife.
Then look at the end of verse thirty-four:
1 Corinthians 7:34 … But she who is married cares about the things of the world - how she may please her husband.
Paul encourages you to remain single so that you are totally free to minister for the Lord. He’s not against marriage; he’s for ministry, and for you seeing the seriousness of your ministry in these Last Days before Jesus Christ returns. His overall context in this chapter is your ministry.
Let’s apply that to his comments on marriage. If you are married, or get married, then your marriage becomes your ministry!
It is so very important that you understand this context. The commands in these verses are in the context of marriage being your ministry for the Lord. Rather than being selfish and seeing your marriage or marriage partner as an obstacle, you should be self-less and see your marriage or marriage partner as an opportunity to minister.
With this in your mind, you will see three things in these first twenty-four verses: #1 Your Marriage Is A ministry In Which You Are Called To Satisfy Your Spouse; #2 Your Marriage Is A Ministry In Which You Are Called To Stay With Your Spouse; and #3 Your Marriage Is A Ministry In Which You Are Called To Sanctify Your Spouse.
#1 Your Marriage Is A Ministry In Which
You Are Called To Satisfy Your Spouse
(v1-9)
Believers in Corinth either thought or were taught that abstaining from sex with your spouse was more spiritual than having regular sexual relations. This is the problem addressed in the first nine verses.
1 Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Throughout chapter seven Paul emphasizes that "it is good for a man not to touch a woman." "To touch" refers to having sexual contact. There is nothing wrong with abstaining from sex; in fact, it is "good" if you are not married. But it is not good if you are married!
1 Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
In verse seven you will learn that abstaining from sex requires a special gift from God. We call it the gift of celibacy. If you don’t have the gift of celibacy, get married and enjoy the gift of sex. Otherwise you will only heighten your susceptibility to sexual immorality; and you will expose your spouse to greater temptation to sexual immorality.
1 Corinthians 7:3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
The phrase "affection due" him or her means to fulfill your obligation to show good will and kindness to your spouse. Marriage is more than physical. It involves the whole personality. Marriage is first and foremost a covenant of companionship between a man and a woman. There are emotional and spiritual obligations. Physical sexual relations cannot be seen as separate from the emotional and spiritual aspects of your relationship. These verses are not just about sex.
1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
If you are a wife, apply this to yourself, not to your husband. If you are a husband, apply this to yourself, not to your wife. God is not commanding your spouse to fulfill their obligation to satisfy you sexually. He is commanding you to minister to the needs of your spouse – to see your marriage as a ministry to your spouse.
1 Corinthians 7:5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
In Corinth one spouse was deciding on his or her own to abstain from sex. This was and is wrong. You should only abstain from sex if three conditions are met:
If this is not the case, you are opening yourself and your spouse to unnecessary temptation.
1 Corinthians 7:6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.
You should not abstain from having sex in your marriage; but if you insist on doing so, make sure you meet the three spiritual requirements.
1 Corinthians 7:7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
Paul had the gift of celibacy. It is not more spiritual to be celibate; it is not more spiritual to be married. It is spiritual to find and follow God’s will for your life. If God gifts you with celibacy, great; you’re free to minister. If God gifts you with sexual desires, great; get married and minister to your spouse.
1 Corinthians 7:8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
1 Corinthians 7:9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
If you are unmarried or widowed, it’s OK to remain single – if you have the gift of celibacy! How do you know if you have the gift of celibacy? If you struggle with self-control and have sexual desire, you do not have the gift and should get married.
It never fails that, after teaching these verses, someone goes home and complains to their spouse that they are not having sex frequently enough… That their "needs" are not being met… That they are being caused to sin…
I want to say something with absolute clarity: These commands are for you to apply to yourself, not for you to apply to your spouse. Your marriage is a ministry in which you are called upon to satisfy your spouse – spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Judge yourself and not your spouse.
There was another problem in the church at Corinth: Divorce. God’s command is summed-up in verse twenty-four:
1 Corinthians 7:24 Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called.
One word sums up the summary - "remain." This is first applied in verses ten and eleven to Christians who are married to Christians.
#2 Your Marriage Is A Ministry In Which
You Are Called To Stay With Your Spouse
(v10-11)
1 Corinthians 7:10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
We know that the "married" couple addressed here are both Christians because verses twelve and thirteen refer to the "rest" as Christians who were married to non-Christians. If you are a Christian and you are married to a Christian, stay married! This is the Lord’s command to you. The words "depart" and "divorce" have essentially the same meaning – divorce. Women were said to "depart" perhaps because they could leave but had no right to legal divorce.
Paul is not discussing divorce on the grounds of adultery, for which Jesus affirmed the possibility of obtaining a divorce and being remarried in Matthew 5:32 and 19:8-9. Divorce in such cases is God’s gracious concession to the offended party. There are biblical grounds for divorce and subsequent remarriage. Here Paul is discussing divorce for reasons other than adultery.
Is there ever a situation in which you would separate from your spouse? Sure there is! Let’s say your husband is a believer but he is beating you. You don’t take that. Call the cops, have him arrested, and separate from him. But then the goal will ultimately be reconciliation. Marriage is a serious covenant.
Christians can and do have miserable marriages. There are a million reasons you could give that seem to justify divorcing your believing spouse. God says it is your ministry to stay married. Look past your circumstances to Christ.
#3 Your Marriage Is A Ministry In Which
You Are Called To Sanctify Your Spouse
(v12-24)
You get saved and find yourself married to an unbeliever. Does that hinder you spiritually?
No – it helps them spiritually! The believer has a sanctifying effect on their spouse and children. Stay married and sanctify your spouse – that's your ministry now.
1 Corinthians 7:12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.
1 Corinthians 7:13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
Jesus never addressed this issue. Paul addresses it. It is not just his advice; it is the inspired Word of God. Don’t divorce your spouse simply because they are an unbeliever.
1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
The Christian spouse is a channel of God’s grace to their spouse and to their children. "Sanctified" does not mean that your spouse and children are automatically saved. It is not a guarantee that they will get saved. The word means "set apart." They are now set apart to hear and see the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You become a source of great spiritual blessing to them.
What if your unbelieving spouse wants to divorce you for any reason?
1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
You cannot prevent your unbelieving spouse from divorcing you. You should try to keep "peace" with your spouse and remain married; but marriage is a mutual commitment and, if they break it, there is nothing you can do to remain married. Should they divorce you, you are "not under bondage" to maintain the marriage. You are, in fact, free to remarry.
1 Corinthians 7:16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
Some commentators see this verse in a negative way, teaching that you should not try to hold onto your marriage if your unbelieving spouse wants to divorce you since you can’t be sure that they will get saved through your ministry. That’s possible… I rather think of it as a more hopeful verse. Believers get so discouraged waiting for their spouse’s to get saved. Just as God saved you while you were a married unbeliever, so God can work in your spouse’s life. You are there to give testimony both with your words and without a word, by your example. Your spouse is better off than you were and God saved you! Have a realistic hope and continue to minister to them.
I don’t want to in any way minimize verses seventeen through twenty-three… But I am going to summarize them. Paul’s general advice on marriage questions is to "remain with God" in your calling. That same general principle should be applied to spiritual and social concerns.
The spiritual concerns in Corinth involved issues between Jews and Gentiles. The social concerns in Corinth involved issues between slaves and free men. Let’s look at Jews and Gentiles in verses seventeen through twenty.
1 Corinthians 7:17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches.
1 Corinthians 7:18 Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised.
1 Corinthians 7:19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters.
1 Corinthians 7:20 Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called.
Jews were called "the circumcised." Gentiles were called "the uncircumcised." If you were a Jew and got saved, it wasn’t more spiritual to renounce everything about your heritage and try to live as a Gentile. If you were a Gentile and got saved, it wasn’t more spiritual to adopt the customs of the Jews, like circumcision. "Remain" as you were and find and follow God’s will for you.
1 Corinthians 7:21 Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it.
1 Corinthians 7:22 For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ’s slave.
1 Corinthians 7:23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
Most of the people in the Roman world were slaves of one sort or another. If you could acquire your freedom, that would be great; but it wasn’t necessary, and it didn’t make you any more spiritual. We would apply this today in the area of our social status or employment. If you can better yourself, that would be great; but it isn’t necessary, and it won’t make you more spiritual. "Remain" as you were and find and follow God’s will for your life.
Conclusion
Whether you are married or unmarried… Whether your spouse is a Christian or a non-Christian… Whatever your spiritual background or social status… You belong to Jesus Christ because He bought you with His blood on Calvary. You are therefore the Lord’s minister in the place where you got saved.
With regards to marriage, see yourself as a minister to your spouse. Be self-less rather than selfish. Your marriage is not so much a place to have your needs met as it is to minister to the needs of another.