The Song of Solomon

"How to Remain Romantic"

Introduction

God is romantic!

It would be more precise theologically to say that love is an attribute of God, and that God's love is sometimes expressed in the form of romance. While more precise, it would be less passionate. Most books on theology, while precise, are not passionate. They mention love as an attribute of God, but entirely fail to discuss the romantic aspects of His love. Yet God Himself goes to great lengths to portray the romantic aspects of His love in the Bible.

The Bible is full with metaphors and manuscripts that reveal God's love as romantic:

As for romantic metaphors, there are many:

In the Old Testament God the Father speaks of the nation of Israel as His wife, and of Himself as her Husband...

Isaiah 62:5 "...as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, So shall your God rejoice over you."

Jeremiah 3:14 "Return, O backsliding children," says the LORD; "for I am married to you. I will take you, one from a city and two from a family, and I will bring you to Zion."

Hosea 2:19 "I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me In righteousness and justice, In lovingkindness and mercy..."

In the New Testament the Church is called the bride of God the Son, Jesus Christ...

2 Corinthians 11:2 "...For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ."

Ephesians 5:25 & 32 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her...This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church."

The romantic manuscripts are two whole books of the inspired Word of God: the Book of Ruth and the Song of Solomon.

The Book of Ruth is the romance of redemption. The book presents an important teaching in the biblical doctrine of redemption. You see there that redemption is possible only through a kinsman-redeemer. God could not redeem apart from a mediator, and since only God could redeem it was necessary for Him to become that person. God tells you this important doctrinal truth, though, in the context of a romantic love story! The Book of Ruth tells the commonplace story of a couple who love each other, but their love is a mirror in which we can see the divine love of Jesus for you and me. Boaz is a type of Jesus Christ, and Ruth is a type of the redeemed believer that He passionately loves.

The Song of Solomon is the romance of relationship. It is primarily a book celebrating romantic love in the relationship between husbands and wives. It also speaks, though, of the love of God for His beloved - of His love for you. Again please note the romantic context in which God reveals His love.

We normally confine romance to courtship. We have come to believe that romance declines or dies after the wedding. We commonly use the phrase "the honeymoon is over," as if everyone agrees that the initial romance must fade away.

I’d like to suggest to you that God remains romantic. Does His love for you fade away after the initial courtship? I don’t think so - - and neither do you!

If God remains romantic past courtship into companionship, then it is imperative that you remain romantic past courtship into companionship.

We’re going to take a look at a date that Solomon and the Shulamite went on. While this episode in their lives took place during their courtship, there are insights into how they intended to remain romantic after their courtship.

We’ll see three things: #1 Romance Remains When You Show Consideration, #2 Romance Remains When You Share Communication, and #3 Romance Remains When You Stay Cautious.

A man and his wife are fighting because for the last few months he has been coming home very late from work, as much as five hours late, and very drunk.

His wife decided that she would give him one more chance before asking for a divorce. She said that on Friday she would like him to buy her favorite take-out meal and then spend the evening with her. Her favorite meal is snails in garlic sauce, from the local French restaurant.

Friday comes around and her husband does the right thing and buys some garlic snails. On the way home however, he passes the bar. As he was passing his friends shout out and call him in for a beer. He politely declines and explains his problems with his marriage. So they invite him in just for a half pint so he can tell them about his troubles.

He stumbles home and falls up the steps to his front door, dropping snails everywhere. His wife hears him and opens the door. She shouts "You’re five hours late! What’s your excuse this time?"

Although drunk, he react quickly, looks down at the snails and says "Come along boys.... we’re nearly there!!!!"

The husband in our story was not very considerate of his wife. Consideration is an important component of marriage, and of remaining romantic.

Solomon and the Shulamite are going on a date - - a walk in the countryside. Their date begins in verse eight:

Song of Songs 2:8 The voice of my beloved! Behold, he comes Leaping upon the mountains, Skipping upon the hills.

Song of Songs 2:9 My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag. Behold, he stands behind our wall; He is looking through the windows, Gazing through the lattice.

Dating has come under fire among Christians in recent years. USA Today Magazine ran an article title, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" promoting a book by the same name. Courtship is the new buzz-word.

Dating without limits is certainly not a good strategy; but neither is the extreme legalism of some of the courtship speakers I’ve heard. You’ll have to make up your own mind. All I know is that Solomon and the Shulamite went out together. Whether it was a date or part of courtship is another matter.

Our couple is out in the countryside on a gorgeous day and Solomon speaks as they walk:

Song of Songs 2:10 My beloved spoke, and said to me: "Rise up, my love, my fair one, And come away.

Song of Songs 2:11 For lo, the winter is past, The rain is over and gone.

Song of Songs 2:12 The flowers appear on the earth; The time of singing has come, And the voice of the turtledove Is heard in our land.

Song of Songs 2:13 The fig tree puts forth her green figs, And the vines with the tender grapes Give a good smell. Rise up, my love, my fair one, And come away!

Twice he encourages her to "come away." It’s more than just an invitation to walk with him; it’s a invitation to "come away" and leave all other considerations behind while they are together. It’s a way of describing that wonderful aspect of romance in which your partner is the person who matters most to you, taking priority and precedence over every other desire or demand.

What tends to happen after dating or courtship is that other considerations take priority and precedence. Then, instead of saying "Come away" to our beloved, we say things like these:

"You come after me." You say this, not so much in words, but in your ways. When career, hobbies, friends, entertainments, and children take priority - - then you’re saying "you come after me."

Instead of saying "come away," you can say "move along." You say this when you are over-anxious for your spouse to change into someone easier for you to love.

Instead of saying "come away," you can say "you’re an accessory." You do this when you are overly concerned with your spouse’s outward appearance.

Instead of saying "come away," you can say "I’m against you." You do it whenever you belittle or speak poorly of your spouse.

Instead of saying "come away," you can say many other things: "I’m angry with you…" "You aggravate me…" "I’m annoyed with you…" Sadly, some eventually say "get away from me…"

Don’t say these things in either your words or your ways! Instead accept your beloved, affirm him or her, emphasize the adorning of the heart, appreciate God’s patient workmanship, and put your spouse ahead of yourself.

When Solomon said "come away" to the Shulamite, he intended to take her out into the countryside of Baal-Hamon. While getting away with your spouse can be important, the real emphasis should not be so much on going somewhere as it should be on being anywhere together. You can go somewhere and still not really be together. "Come away" is really an attitude of the heart that says you consider your beloved more than any of life’s demands, more than any of your desires. "Come away" is not a place so much as it is a perception by your beloved that you would rather be with them.

The story is told of a farmer who walked into an attorney’s office wanting to file for a divorce:

The attorney asked, "May I help you?"

The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those day-vorce’s."

The attorney asked, "Do you have any grounds?"

The farmer answered, "Yea, I got about 140 acres."

The attorney said, "No, you don’t understand. Do you have a case?"

The farmer answered, "No, I don’t have a Case, but I have a John Deere."

The attorney said, "No, you don’t understand. I mean do you have a grudge?"

The farmer answered, "Yea, I got a grudge. That’s where I park my John Deere."

The attorney said, "no, sir, I mean, Do you have a suit?"

The farmer answered, "Yes, sir, I got a suit. I wear it to Church on Sunday’s."

The now exasperated attorney asked, "Well, sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"

The farmer answered, "No, sir, we both get up at about 4:30."

Finally the attorney said, "Okay, let me put it this way: Why do you want to divorce your wife?"

And the farmer answered, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her!"

This next verse is a wealth of insight into the number one problem in marriage: Communication.

Song of Songs 2:14 "O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, In the secret places of the cliff, Let me see your face, Let me hear your voice; For your voice is sweet, And your face is lovely."

The "dove in the cleft of the rock" is a picture of a shy, defenseless animal hiding itself from danger, being gently urged out of it’s protection to become vulnerable.

Picture yourself the one who is drawing your spouse out. It will require patience and pleasantness… It will require practice and perseverance…

One thing Solomon says is worth further emphasis: "Let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet." He wants to hear his beloved’s voice. It doesn’t matter what is said; no detail is too unimportant or trivial as long as she is saying it.

In the stress of our busy post-courtship lives, we turn to summarizing. The question "how was your day" is answered as simply as possible. We can lose the romance of simply desiring to hear each other’s voice.

Let me give you what I believe is a simple solution:

Do what Solomon and the Shulamite did and take walks together!

Things will come against your attempts to remain romantic. Solomon puts them poetically in verse fifteen:

Song of Songs 2:15 Catch us the foxes, The little foxes that spoil the vines, For our vines have tender grapes.

On their walk Solomon and the Shulamite no doubt saw many walled vineyards. The walls would be made of piled stones or planted hedges. Their purpose was to keep animals out, notably foxes. Otherwise the foxes would enter the vineyards and eat the blossoms or the grapes, ruining the crop. The vinedressers would periodically check the wall for gaps through which the foxes could enter and spoil the vineyards.

Solomon, as a vineyard owner, and the Shulamite, as one who had tended vineyards, understood the problem of unchecked foxes. In the poetic language of romance Solomon is appealing to her that they pile a wall, plant a hedge, around their relationship and check it for gaps. They must be cautious of the many "foxes" that would seek to spoil the blossoming, fruitful vineyard of their marriage.

There are a lot of "foxes" out there - - no pun intended. The major ones are these:

In-laws… Finances… Friends… Sexual discontent… Children…

You must begin to look at every event, every circumstance, every relationship, every activity, every hobby, every invitation, every recreation with a concern for how it will affect your relationship. Will it open a gap in the wall surrounding your love? If so, exercise caution and "catch" it before it can do lasting damage.

Conclusion

God has designed marriage for you to have companionship. Put another way, He’s given you someone to grow old with.

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the his office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After examining them, the doctor told them they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."

She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He replied, "Sure."

She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that."

He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replied, "Well I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down I can remember that." He then fumed into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."

Show consideration… Share communication… Stay cautious…