The Song of Solomon

"Love that Lasts"

Song of Songs 8:5 Who is this coming up from the wilderness, Leaning upon her beloved? I awakened you under the apple tree. There your mother brought you forth; There she who bore you brought you forth.

Song of Songs 8:6 Set me as a seal upon your heart, As a seal upon your arm; For love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave; Its flames are flames of fire, A most vehement flame.

Song of Songs 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love, Nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love All the wealth of his house, It would be utterly despised.

Introduction

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the his office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After examining them, the doctor told them they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."

She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He replied, "Sure."

She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that."

He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replied, "Well I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down I can remember that." He then fumed into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."

You’re going to grow old. Ideally, you’re going to grow old together. Do you believe that your love can last? You look around at many marriages, even among believers, and wonder if it is possible for a couple to grow old and also grow in their love for one another, experiencing a deeper, richer love as the seasons of their life pass. For far too many, the honeymoon is over.

The word "honeymoon," by the way, comes from ancient Babylonia. It was the accepted practice there four thousand years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his new son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. "Mead" is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month" or what we know today as the honeymoon.

The honeymoon officially lasted a full month. Today it typically lasts less than a week. But the honeymoon doesn’t need to end!

In chapter seven, Solomon and the Shulamite are on what we would call a "second honeymoon." They go out to the country and share a wonderful, romantic, sensual time together. While it is a second honeymoon, it’s really telling us that the honeymoon never ended for them. Theirs was a love that lasted.

Yours can be a love that lasts. Love that lasts is described in verses eight through fourteen of chapter eight, and it has four very provocative characteristics.

"Painful" is a strange word to use in connection with love that lasts. It sounds like a description of a bad marriage that’s faltering - - not a good one that’s growing. But pain can be fruitful, as you learn in verse five.

Song of Songs 8:5 Who is this coming up from the wilderness, Leaning upon her beloved? I awakened you under the apple tree. There your mother brought you forth; There she who bore you brought you forth.

You’re lost here unless you are familiar with the cultural symbolism. You are familiar with certain symbols that depict love and romance: Hearts, X’s and O’s, and Cupid shooting his arrow are some of the symbols we use to communicate love and romance. In the Hebrew culture the "apple tree" was the symbol for love and romance. It was the sweetheart tree of the ancient world.

The Shulamite says, "I awakened you under the apple tree." She is describing how she had once captured Solomon’s heart, awakening his love. She is looking back to the beginnings of their love - - when romance was the very air that they breathed!

But this is later in their relationship, at a time when romance could have been only a memory. She says, "There your mother brought you forth."

Childbirth is a painful experience. I know; I’ve witnessed it on TV! There is groaning, and moaning, and shouting, and screaming, and bleeding, and tearing, and crying… If you didn’t know better you’d think someone was dying!

Childbirth is a painful experience… But one that is fruitful. Solomon’s mother had experienced pain when he was born, the pain of childbirth; but it was worth it to her for the joy of having her son.

The Shulamite is suggesting that their relationship is a "labor" of love that involves a fruitful kind of pain. Think of a few of the ways you experience this kind of pain in your relationship:

You experience pain when you can’t be together…

You experience pain when there is the slightest misunderstanding…

You experience pain when you’re treated indifferently…

Or do you? Have you gone numb to this kind of pain in your marriage? Take one example: Do you look forward to being away from your spouse? Is it a breather for you? Is it a relief to walk out the door to work?

Lack of this kind of pain is a warning that your love is listing - - like a ship about to sink - - rather than lasting!

You should love your spouse so much that it hurts! If it doesn’t hurt anymore, then you have too many other outlets that are deadening your pain. Get rid of them!

Often in counseling couples regarding their marriage one or the other - - and it’s usually the husband - - complains that the relationship is stifling or smothering them. They can’t understand why their spouse wants to constantly be around them. They complain that they have no time alone, or for themselves, or for their hobbies, or with their friends.

You know what? With that kind of an attitude, I can’t understand why their spouse would want to be around them either!!

Rather than a complaint, this is a compliment! In verse six you read,

Song of Songs 8:6 Set me as a seal upon your heart, As a seal upon your arm; For love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave; Its flames are flames of fire, A most vehement flame.

Love that lasts is intense. It is "as strong as death" and "jealous" like "the grave." There’s no middle ground with death and the grave - - they are all consuming. They demand everything from you. Love is like that in the sense that it demands everything of the one loved.

She mentions a "seal" on Solomon’s heart and arm. In ancient times a seal indicated ownership. It was placed upon an object of great value. She wanted to own Solomon - - to fully posses him. His dreams and his desires were no longer his property. They belonged to her as well. They would dream together; their desires would become the same.

The seal on his heart meant that he knew that he was hers; the seal on his arm meant everyone else knew he was hers.

There is constant pressure for you to be intimate with someone other than your spouse. It happens innocently enough: You are frustrated in your relationship and begin to share private details with a friend or co-worker. Often it’s a person of the opposite sex. Don’t give them your heart! Talk to the Lord, or get formal counseling from the church.

Love that lasts is possessive. You should be doing more together - - not less. I want to be careful not to put a trip on anyone… But there’s a sense in which you should be developing mutual, not separate, interests. At least in your separate interests, everyone should know that you’d rather be with your beloved.

Look at it this way:

As it is, most people already spend most of their time away from the one they love. If you work, that’s eight to ten to twelve hours away from your beloved most days. If you sleep eight hours, that only leaves four to eight hours to spend together. If you have kids - - then you’re into negative numbers!!! When you turn to your beloved and tell him or her you need some "space" or some "time of your own," you’re putting them on the lowest possible place on the list.

If you’re still not convinced that possessive love is healthy, notice that our verses mention "a vehement flame." Some commentators hold that the last syllable of the Hebrew word is the shortened form of the name Jehovah. If so, what she is saying is that their love for one another was like God’s love for them. Is God’s love for you possessive? Is He jealous over you? Does He want to spend time with you? You know the answer is a glorious "Yes!"

Since God loves you this way, this is how you are to love your spouse.

You can know a measure of happiness in this life, but you will also know much hardship. In the book of Job, Job exclaims and explains,

Job 5:7 Yet man is born to trouble, As the sparks fly upward.

The next two phrases of our text in the Song of Solomon describe the hardships of life in terms of the storm and the flood:

Song of Songs 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love, Nor can the floods drown it…

Storms and floods are inevitable. When they come, they put a strain on marriage. At those times, remember what you once vowed:

"For better, or for worse;

For richer, or for poorer;

In sickness, or in health."

Love that lasts is committed to persevering through the storms and floods of life. In fact, love that lasts is meant to be a shelter from those hardships - - a safe harbor from the storm, an ark from the floods.

Divorce should be a forbidden word in your vocabulary - - a dirty word, never to be spoken. As long as it is an option, you will not experience the joy of love persevering. Your love will not last.

We sometimes speak of a new boyfriend or a new girlfriend as the "latest flame" in a person’s life. Your spouse is to be the last flame, and he or she should be unquenchable when the cares of this world seek to overcome you.

Look at the last phrase of verse seven:

…If a man would give for love All the wealth of his house, It would be utterly despised.

Why would such a man be despised? Because he was seeking to reduce love and the person loved to an object. If you set the price of love at a billion dollars, you would devalue it to nothing. Love must be given - - it cannot be purchased.

The point for us, in our modern culture, is that you would avoid being taken in by the materialistic philosophy of our world.

The pursuit of material things, in the hopes of making your life and love better, is an illusion. The more involved you become pursuing possessions, the less time you have for people.

Be careful. Your love is already priceless. Choose to live at a level that won’t distract you from one another, and your love will last.

Conclusion

It is my sincere prayer that your entire marriage be a long honeymoon! Stay drunk with love that lasts!